Things I don’t miss

Those of you who know me, know that I am *alone most of the time.

As alone as one person can claim be with two active daughters, a clingy dog, and a very chatty 6 year old boy (who I babysit for).

Bearing that in mind, though, I am alone alone at night.  Because that’s when I feel it.  The alone-ness.

I think it must be the sheer awareness I have that I alone am in charge of anything that might happen to our family.  (Like an earthquake….wha?)

I am responsible for locking (and double checking) all the doors.

I must check the thermostat settings to be sure that it is neither run too much nor too little, and to ensure our comfort throughout the night and days. 

Or, in the case that this wonderful weather should hold, I am in charge of the windows.  How far should they be open?  Should I close them as I get into bed, or leave them open?  Better check the weather one more time.  (I should mention that when my husband is here, he checks the weather regularly.  And by regularly, I mean obsessively.  As in every half an hour.  To check its progress.  Like a degree change.  Or a barometric variance.  So, when he’s NOT here, I find myself lost that I can’t just shout out and ask what the weather is and/or will be for any given time frame.  That burden falls upon me.  But I digress.)

And let’s not forget the bills.  (But that’s another post altogether.)


Allow me to just say that though all of these little things befall my own responsible shoulders throughout the week, I don’t mind it.  It’s nice to be in charge.  It’s nice to feel like I’m being a good caregiver.  A good Mom.  I am proud of our family and how I am keeping it all together.

But boy do I sleep peacefully when Hubby comes home.  Ah, sweet freedom!  Tired?  Ah, I can just say, “Good night!” and climb up the stairs, grab a peek at the girls, and fall into bed.  I know that he will take care of the locking up and the double checking to make sure that everything is secure.  So nice.


Now.  Now that I’ve said all of that.  HERE is a list of all the things that I don’t miss when Hubby is away. 

Randomly, bullet form – since I do love my bullets.

I, Mandy of short stature (and new short hair – yet another post) do NOT miss…

  • Piles.  Piles, piles everywhere! (But not a drop to drink.  ew.  Sorry.)  Hubby has an uncanny knack for creating piles of junk wherever he goes.  Piles of dirty clothes.  Piles of clean clothes.  (Can I tell the difference?  No.  Probably why I am always doing laundry.)  Piles of mail.  Piles of work papers.  Piles of receipts.  Piles of shoes.  Piles of newspapers.  Piles of dishes.  Piles of blankets.  Piles of piles.  Do you get this lovely picture I’m painting?
  • Whiskers. In the sink.  Need I say more?
  • Toilet issues. I hate to elaborate on this, but I feel compelled.  No, my husband does not have the cliche’ guy problem of leaving the seat up (thank God), but he does have a wee bit of an issue with, um… let me politely say sanitation?  Can I just say that I’m sure that most of you out there can agree with me that boys are gross when it comes to using the bathroom.  There is splatter.  There is drippage.  There is general nastiness to clean up on bathroom cleaning day that is most definitely NOT a problem in the girls’ bathroom.  Nope.  Only in the BOYS’ bathrooms.  The downstairs one is the only one that I will allow the little boy I babysit for to use, since it doesn’t have a rug near it, and I KNOW what it looks like after he goes.  It looks just like the one in MY bathroom.  The one that only my husband and I use.  He claims to not know what I’m talking about, but all week long, the toilet area remains clean, and magically when he comes home, it’s….not so clean anymore.  Coincidence?  Hmmm.  And don’t even get me STARTED on the clogs.  OH, with the clogs.  Why is it that as SOON as he gets home, our bathroom is unusable for an extended amount of time?  *HEAVY SIGH*  Gross.
  • Dirty kitchen.  We manage all week to only dirty a reasonable amount of dishes.  Granted, I don’t make such huge meals when it’s just the girls and I.  But, I think we are actually frugal with our usage of dishes for such things as, say, a slice of toast.  We might use a napkin.  (Or in my case, nothing at all.  Just eat it over the sink – ha!)  Hey, we’re doing our part by running the dishwasher a lot less.  But, as soon as Hubby is home, it’s all “Let me grab a plate for this one cookie I’ll be eating, then add it to the pile of my already used (and wasted) dishes.”  “Already used that fork?  Don’t know who it belongs to?  Get another one!”  “Girls?  Need a drink?  Already have on in the fridge?  No matter.  I’ll get you another one.  And another spoon and fork just for good measure.  With your extra bowl.  And plate.”  I think this wouldn’t bother me so much if he were the one cleaning all this up. 
  • Showing off.  I think this must be because the girls don’t see their daddy as much as they used to (or want to now), but the showing off is getting out of control.  It’s the Noelle and Kae hour before he’s even through the door.  And it’s not all good stuff, either.  It’s the tattling, and the arguing, and the acting out that we Moms are all well aware of.  And I get this.  I get that they don’t have this throughout the week, so they are probably just saving it up for him.  But, seriously?  It gets on my royal, bloody nerves.  Can we just stop it already?  Everything’s nice and relaxed (snort) when he’s not around.  And Mommy’s word?  It may as well be chopped liver, since it means zilch when Daddy’s around.  “DADDY said that I could have this piece of candy 4 minutes before supper!”  “DADDY said that I could go out and ride my bike even though we’re getting ready to leave for church!”  “BUT DADDY SAAAAAIIIIID!”  ugh.  What-EVER!
  • Time crunch.  I’m not sure why this is, but as soon as Hubby is home, our time seems to fly.  Yes, they say that time flies when you’re having fun, but I’m not even sure it’s that.  You see, we aren’t always having fun.  In fact, so much of our time is spent in a whirl, rushing around and getting things done before the next week begins, that I don’t actually notice any FUN.  Sure, we have a good time when we do our weekly church/out-to-eat-with-the-family/play-cards-with-the-family thing on Saturday, but it always seems like when Sunday afternoon rolls around, we’re all at each other, and crabby as all get out.  And still the time flies.  It’s almost like Hubby’s presence has the ability to flash forward our weekends, so that the week can come back around, and we all feel a little lost again.

Maybe I am just a little jaded with this whole thing.  I mean, I love both sides of the coin.  I do love my time alone, and I do love my spending time with my husband.

If only we could work out some of the (bulleted) kinks, then maybe we’d have a little more LOVE all around.




 *Hubby is working a job in a city two hours away from here, and only comes home on weekends, sometimes once during the week.  We are trying desperately to sell our house, so that we can move there to be with him.

Published in: on April 22, 2008 at 10:18 am  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. My husband will be gone this weekend and I am looking forward to a clean toilet, no dirty socks in the living room, and no more empty water bottles that only I seem to have the ability to throw away.

  2. […] Welp.  Fun time’s over!  Time to head back home and prepare for the showing.  (Because no amount of pre-cleaning is going to resolve all the things that inevitably occur upon Hubby’s return home.) […]

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