Sorry chickadee, ain’t happening

That’s what I felt like outright saying to the adorable gag little high school senior who was pleading on my doorstep.

Pleading for me to purchase some crappy magazine subscription, so that she might be able to go to the Bahamas.

Um, I must say a big fat hairy NO to you, little lady. 

I re-fuse to pay $50 (and that was the cheapest.  I know.)  for some  magazine that I do not have time (nor patience) to read.  That’s what blogs are for.

And I, Mandy -who have never been to such a fantabulous place as the Bahamas myself – will not fund YOUR skinny little patootie to go.

AND I, Mandy -who at the moment am holding down the fort of two ca-razy, getting on my last nerve, “Mommy! Mommy! I had it firhurhurst” girls – am the one who is in DIRE need of a vacation.

Like NOW.

So, please.  Don’t judge me a bitch when I smile, take the paper that you just handed me, and hand it (still smiling) back into your sad, sad little hands.

Sorry.  But, it ain’t happening today, sister.

Or tomorrow.

No matter what you promise in return.

*And promise she did.  She offered to do my lawn work for me.  Little did she know that my husband actually looks forward to that little chore, and would be very upset if I were to pawn it off.  I know.  He’s weird that way.*

Published in: on May 28, 2008 at 9:18 pm  Comments (5)  

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  1. I’ve had the come by my house before too. But the kid wasn’t cute, and they weren’t going to the Bahamas either. No, I didn’t buy.

  2. I seriously can’t stand those door-to-door schemes either. Only here, they try to tell you that by buying magazines from them, you are helping them get a scholarship for college?

    Really? I thought “scholarships” were awarded without having to con people into buying something?

    Now way in heck am I going to help pay for a kid to go to the Bahamas when I’ve never been anywhere tropical other than the gulf coast.

  3. The last time that happened to me? The person was training (?? to sell mags?)someone next to him. He asked to speak to my mom…umm??..then I said it was my house. He did a double take. And, then asked if I’d just graduated high school. I just gawked. I was 25. And, then I said something like, “And, if you think after you have repeatedly insulted me, I’d ever think about buying your crap, you are gravely mistaken!” and slammed the door in his face. I imagine he told the trainee that was how you were NOT to do it.

  4. Ha ha! We all have had this happen! And we all hate it!
    It’s a wonder it still goes on, who’s buying magazines from somebody at the front door?
    This is what happened when the young man came to my door. He told me, too, that he would have a ‘chance’ to ‘win’ a trip to blah-blahif he sells a certain number of subscriptions. I interrupted him. “Here’s what you do, there’s no chance involved. You go get a job RIGHT NOW and start saving your money. Two months tops, no questions asked, you’ll have enough to take your trip, and it will be a heck of a lot easier than going door to door peddling magazines, I guarantee it.” He just sort of stared at me blankly. But he didn’t argue. He said, “Okay, thank you for your time.” I, like yourself, can not be sold on anything. I don’t buy stuff from people if I’m not in the market for it. Had you been sitting there thinking, “You know what would scratch the itch right now? A MAGAZINE SUBSCRIP– Bing-Bong…”. THen maybe, MAYBE you would have considered it, am I right? Still, just a maybe. And what the heck is with the yardwork promise? I think I would have broken into song, “Promises– promises… why do I be-lieeeeve?” Crazy society.

  5. Okay. I’m fessing up. I got TOTALLY suckered into buying $60 worth of magazines back in April by some kid who was trying to get a job or scholarship or something. What got me was that he was from the X side of town and he was wearing a tie, and that he claimed he had a newborn daughter…and no job other than what he was doing. Oh, the middle-class guilt slayed me. And I am normally the one in the household who gives a firm NO to all of this crap.

    Also. Have my magazines arrived yet? No.
    Ya’ll are stronger women than I.

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