Haiku Friday – If they could see me now

 

 

Once upon a time

there was a girl named Mandy

She used to be hawt

 

Pretty popular

in high school – taking into

consideration…

 

…that high school was small

SO small that everyone knew

everyone and that…

 

everyone was friends

HOWEVER, that tiny class

stroked my wee ego

 

Come voting time for

the senior year book, I was

nominated for…

 

…”Most school spirit” (Rah!)

and “Best figure or physique”

ha! ha! ha! ha! HA!!!

 

OH, if they could see

what I’ve allowed myself to

become – it’s so sad

 

I sometimes wonder

what the boys who were part of

the Prom Courts with me…

 

…would think of my poor

FUTURE self – the one in which

I let myself go

 

There are certainly

no awards for “Most Weight Gain”

or “Crappiest Mood”

 

Anytime a trip

back “home” presents itself, I

am riddled with fear

 

What if I bump in-

to someone I used to know?

Wonder what they’d think?

 

I count my lucky

stars that there was no ten year

class reunion – whew!

 

I realize that

I am pathetic and need

to get off my butt…

 

…the butt that right now 

is parked in this chair – all the

easier to blog

 

I know that I am

a wiser, more mature gal

than I was back then

 

I understand that

it is what is INSIDE that

matters – I get that

 

I just wish I knew

back then to appreciate

the shell whilst I could.

  

These pants were a size ZERO - I wish I were kidding

These pants were a size ZERO - I wish I were kidding

 

See?  All about the SPIRIT

See? All about the SPIRIT

 

 

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Published in: on August 8, 2008 at 5:00 am  Comments (7)  

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7 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. The good ole’ days……

    I can’t believe there was really a “Best figure or physique” category…….in high school I won best dressed (which totally wouldn’t apply now), and class clown!

    I forgot about it really until I read your post :o)

  2. I was a size 12 in highschool and hated my weight. Thing was I was super involved, in honors classes andmusical and choir and played soccer year round. I looked good in a 12 and I let people make me think I was fat cause it was trendy to be asize 2. Now I’ve let myself go and I’m in a 16 and about 50 pounds heavier than I was in highscool and I’ve also learned the difference between thinking you’re too fat and actually being too fat. I’ll be happy if I can get back to a 12 again by next April when we have a trip back to the states (I immigrated to Belgium 8 months ago…talk about a good way to avoid old friends from highschool)

  3. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are a beautiful person!

  4. I was the opposite of popular and was nominated as a complete joke – Most Likely to Live the Longest because I really wasn’t. I’m still here, but I haven’t been back. I bet you’ve got it going on a lot more than you think.

  5. I understand completely.

    I went to my 10 year highschool reunion 25 pounds heavier than I had been in school.

    Guess what?

    Pretty much everyone else was just as much bigger, or if they weren’t they had;
    a. lost their hair
    b. gone into some really cheesy line of work
    c. or had serious plastic surgery in contemplation of the reunion.

    I felt so much better about being bigger after I went.

  6. I love you, Mandy!
    Love, love, love you! You’re awesome! Head to toe!
    There’s nothing stopping you, but sacrifice.
    I understand completely. Getting started is killer, but good results come in as little as four weeks.
    I won’t allow you to hate yourself. Nor do I treasure the thought of you fearing visits home. I want you to instead plant seeds of, “I wonder what she’s doing, she looks so great!” in the mind’s of people when they see you again. Go ahead and be hard on yourself. No one is going to do it for you. Don’t let anyone pull you down when you want to make a change for the better. You have to do it. What are your alternatives?

  7. Best figure? Really? I went to an all girls’ school, so that certainly would’ve made the uber feminist nuns go mad. They would NEVER allow that one. We had a 10 year, and I was amazed at how little some had changed and how, despite my spanx, how fat I felt.


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